Man, just when I thought I’d moved on to thinking about a Lazy Rich Boy Summer and all the Toasted Coconut Fits, the Summer of Sleaze woke up from its nap under the bench at a bus stop and smacked me in the face with a grocery bag full of boxed mac and cheese.
And by that, I mean Justin Bieber showed up in public again looking like a beautiful dirtbag. Photos have emerged of the Godfather of Sleaze and First Lady Hailey getting into their pink Lamborghini SUV on Tuesday, and Bieber’s fit is nothing short of a godsend.
Sure, his sneakers are perfectly acceptable, but don’t hold it against him. He’s making sure none of us forget what he founded, thanks to cuffed jean shorts and, my god, that hat. It’s like he plucked it right off of Skinny Pete himself. Dressing like a dealer is the cornerstone of achieving sleaze, but going this on-the-nose with it is exactly why we hold Bieber in such high regard.
The MVP—and the item you, yourself, should actually consider as inspiration—is the shirt. Of course, it appears to be a piece from his own label, Drewhouse. And of course, it is sold out. Alas, we bask in its glory as we sink into the dog days of summer 2019, where a shirt like this can shine during the day and complement some light outerwear during the evening.
You can wear Topman’s version of the shirt with ease, and any shirt like it for that matter. And you should! You and I as mere mortals may not pair it with the Skinny Pete beanie and jean shorts, but imagine it with a pair of relaxed chinos or your bathing suit. That’s sleaze you can achieve.
So here’s a well wish to our Lord and Sleazior, Justin Bieber. It’s been a “hard season” for our boy, but he’s never looked better.